Are You Passive, Aggressive, or Assertive, and Why Does It Matter?

If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.

– Timothy Ferriss

The Definition: having or showing a confident personality.
Synonyms: self-confident, decisive, self-assured, forthright, firm, emphatic.

Sometimes being assertive gets a bad name because people confuse it with aggressiveness. But if there were a yardstick to measure human behavior, assertiveness would fall right in the middle, with passiveness at one end and aggressiveness at the other. Here are a few key tips to telling the three communication styles apart:

Passive People:
• Have trouble saying no.
• Do whatever others ask, even if it’s very inconvenient.
• Get “stepped on” a lot.
• Talk softly and don’t stand up for their rights.
• They’re not even sure if they have any rights.
• Do anything to avoid conflict.
• Are taken advantage of. They get resentful but don’t tell anyone.

Aggressive People:
• Are loud, bossy and pushy.
• Get their way, no matter what.
• React instantly.
• Like to get even.
• Don’t care about feelings.
• Give vice-like handshakes.
• Believe that winning is everything.

Assertive People:
• Are firm and direct.
• Don’t blame others but take full responsibility for their own feelings.
• Concentrate on the present.
• Can express their needs and feelings calmly and easily.
• Are confident about who they are.
• Speak firmly and make eye contact.
• Respect others’ rights and expect the same in return.

Read more Communication Training insights.

___________

Trushar Mody is BUSINESS STRATEGIST, SOFT SKILLS TRAINER, OUTSIDE-THE-BOX THINKER AND THOUGHT PROVOKER. He is a Warehouse of knowledge and wants to share it. His passion lies in teaching  Wholestic Learning and Emotional Intelligence.

Trushar Mody is a role model who has extended himself to help others along their own journeys. He works from his passion of helping people live their lives with purpose and without fear. He is a managing partner and senior trainer at Encore Consulting Group.